I have learnt over the last year and a bit that there is an amazing side of social media where you find the most kind, loving, supportive people who you form friendships with and the not so kind side, where people aren’t loving or supportive and they always have something negative to say about something.
People post a picture of what they’re giving their kids for dinner and what feels like 10 million people jump on and tell them how unhealthy it is. Do they ever stop to think that this person could be in financial difficulty and it was the last thing they could scrape together before pay day so the kids didn’t go hungry? Or the people that jump on and call someone “fat”. Do they ever stop to think that there could be an underlying medical or psychological condition that they need help with?
Just like everything else in this world, I knew that opening up our little gifted/homeschooling journey to the world of social media would have it’s good side and it’s not so good side. I knew there would be negative comments because unless you have a gifted child or a child with special needs yourself, no one actually understands. What I wasn’t ready for was having to constantly defend or explain why we do the things we do.
“Yes, we homeschool her because…”
“No, we not force her to do this…”
“You can’t just make a child gifted, they’re born this way”
No one really knows what is happening in anybody’s life behind closed doors. What seems like a perfect life could be filled with sadness. What looks like the perfect marriage could be filled with arguments and unhappiness. You don’t know the pain that someone has to endure on a daily basis for whatever reason.
It’s not always what it seems.
Neither is this gifted child rollercoaster we are on. What looks awesome and amazing, isn’t actually that. There are some aspects that are but 90% of the time, it is incredibly isolating and shit. There is nothing to brag about. I share our activities and baking because if it can inspire someone to do something fun with their kids or bake a treat to share with their friends, that makes me happy. Not because I’m bragging.
So here’s what you don’t know about this gifted child thing.
– The amount of tears that are shed on a daily basis from the person who has to constantly keep her stimulated.
– We are under the care of a Paediatrician and a Psychologist to help us with this and the issues we face.
– The fights we have.
– How lonely and isolating it is because your friends and family don’t understand.
– The amount of times I’ve almost called it quits on our marriage because it’s in the too hard basket
– The toll it takes on your marriage and any other relationship you have outside of your house.
– The insanely terrible OCD we have to endure on a daily basis.
– The unreasonable meltdowns because she has an IQ/EQ imbalance meaning her intelligence side is that of whatever age level we are working out (yet to be tested) but her emotional side is still 3.
– The amount of money we have to spend to keep resources in the house to educate her or the books we’ve had to buy in order to gain a better understanding.
– The very little time there is for N and I to love each other.
– The mental exhaustion we endure.
– The frustration we have because there is very little support or resources.
– The middle of the night wake ups thanks to intense nightmares.
– The difficulty Miss I has in making friendships.
– The schedule we have to keep because if we don’t, shit hits the fan.
– The sleepless nights I’ve endured in order to find answers to questions.
– The way that she is, is half the reason why we cannot have another child.
– The constant stimulation that is needed.
– The constant stress.
– The moments where you have to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry because it’s all too much.
– Living off one income because homeschooling is a necessity for us.
– The shit we have to go through when someone calls Miss I “stupid”.
– The toll it takes on you both mentally and physically because there is no time to look after yourself
and everything else.
It seems that whenever new people join us on our little journey, they don’t bother to ask questions. They’ll gladly share their opinion without having all of the information. I’m all for opinion sharing however, make sure you can back up your opinion with a few facts. Or instead, ask questions to gather a better understanding.
I’m incredibly thankful that I have the most amazing village that is filled with kind, caring and supportive people. Some who I have never met. In the up, down and every other moment of our rollercoaster, they’ve always got my back and for that, I will forever be grateful. I love them.
Find your village. Share your good, bad and ugly moments with them because I guarantee you that there will be a shit ton of people who will be there to offer love, support and kindness to help get you through. You’re never alone.
If you want to join our village, please do! Find us on snapchat @heylittlesweets or on our FB Group- Hey Little Sweet Thing Buddies. I’ve got your back.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. The good ALWAYS outweighs the bad.