A Reflection Of The Year Thus Far

A week out from my birthday, Nick says I get all closed off, I get a bit teary and I act like a cunt. It might be because every year on my birthday since I’ve been in Auckland, something has happened. I just expect the same every year so I don’t get disappointed when it does. I am determined this year to not let it happen so instead, a bit of reflection is in order.

It’s been one big fuck off giant rollercoaster. We’ve seen more downs than ups. We’ve shared the highs and lows of raising a child with a crazy form of special needs and everything in between. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a bit of a depressing year where we both considered medication just to get by. 
 
From paediatrician visits to reconfirm diagnosis’s to trying to find a psychologist who knows a bit about her from of special needs in order to get her the help she requires, to the OCD and anxiety getting worse, steps backwards in the food texture department, more Autism and ADHD traits popping up, eye surgery, ear surgery and various other things, she has certainly kept us on our toes. Whether it not being able to find solutions to issues, help or homeschool, I have felt like I’ve failed her in more ways than one this year. 
With the shit storm her form of special needs brings, we got there and we’re still muddling through.
 
Nick has changed jobs 3 times this year which not only put stress on our life and Izzy’s issues but our marriage as well. There was 5 months there where I didn’t think we were going to make it and I had already planned my “out of here” move. I most certainly thought that this year was the year I would lose it and I almost did. There are days where I came home from preschool drop off and just cried the entire day. 
With that shitstorm, we got there and right now, things are good on the job front. FINALLY.
 
While 2017 has brought the darkest of darkest days, we didn’t know what the fuck would happen or what to do next, it has brought some of the most amazing days and moments that I could ever hope for. There are 37 days left of this year and while I’m grateful to be seeing the back of this year, I’m also incredibly grateful for every good and bad moment we have had. 

This year has taught me a lot. It’s taught me about life, Nick, Izzy, myself, what we are capable of as people and parents, people – both good and bad, Izzy’s form of special needs, other forms of special needs, medical conditions and a whole bunch of other things I never thought I would learn. 2017 has taught me to be even more grateful than what I was before. 

We have had some pretty major moments this year but there is one big thing that stands out.  

YOU. You all stand out more than the moon in a night sky. 

2017 has brought thousands of you into our life. We have gotten to know you all over the year, you have shared your stories with us, been with us through the good and the bad, encouraged us when we needed it the most and supported not only Nick and I but Izzy as well. We’ve shared activities, baking days and hugs on the street. We’ve shared wins, tears and love. You all have been a major piece of amazingness this year and there isn’t a day that goes by where we don’t count our lucky stars. You’re pretty fucking amazing.

In a world and life that can be so isolating, you have helped made us feel less alone. Not only do I think of you all as friends, but you are the driving force behind sharing all of our recipes, activities and everything in between. On those days where I have wanted to close everything down, along with Nick and Izzy, you have all been there with your words of encouragement.

2018 will probably be a bit like this year but we can tackle it head on knowing that we’ve made it through 2017 with the help of you.

“When everything seems like it’s going against you, remember that an aeroplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”

1 universe
9 planets because I still fucking count Pluto. Pluto is cute AF and shouldn’t be left out
204 countries
809 islands
7 seas
and I have been so fucking fortunate to have each and every one of you in my life.Through the good, the bad, the ugly crying face, the wins, the fails, the crazy moments, the happy moments and all that other shit, thank you for having our backs.

 

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